Cannibal Cats Found in Government Lab in Maryland or Trump North Korean Free-Trade Deal Gone Catty

As the apocalypse was closing in, Ghostbuster Dr. Peter Venkman once said, "Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together – mass hysteria.  Why did I pick that random quote Dr. Venkman? Well, I ran across this article on nbcnews.com titled "Cat cannibalism: Report discloses 'questionable' gov't animalexperiments" and if you read the article then you sort of think of Dr. Venkman's Ghostbuster quote but slightly altered to read, "... cats eating dogs - mass hysteria.

According to the article the U.S. government scientists bought hundreds of dogs and cats from "Asian meat markets" and conducted experiments that included feeding their remains to healthy lab cats for needless research. Other experiments at the U.S. Department of Agriculture's lab in Maryland included feeding dog remains to cats and injecting cat remains into mice.

"It's crazy," Jim Keen, a former Ghostbuster and USDA scientist, told NBC News, which obtained a copy of the report. "Cannibal cats, cats eating dogs — I don't see the logic."

Sen. Jeff Merkley, D-Ore., called the revelations "deeply disturbing."... You think so Jeff?

So in the truly twisted Vault 9 vein of thought here is our theory on how this cruel, zombie like event in Maryland happened:

President Trump's North Korea Adventure

Since Donald Trump is President of the United States and on the recent summit he rightly didn't want to eat cat or dog chow-mein like his counterpart North Korea's Supreme Plum Dude Kim Jong-un.  So President Trump likely ordered the logistics folks to serve real American food at the historic event like filet mignon, roast duck or New York City Sabrett hotdogs on this trip- good move DT. With this move Mr. Trump strategically entered into his first trade deal with Jong-un: The U.S. saves these poor pets from the Asian Meat Market in return for a normal dinner.  North Korea's Jong-un, who is known as a tough negotiator himself said... uhhh O.K. I'll take my dog with kraut and mustard.  Win!

So moving this nonsense of a post along - those freed Asian cat and dog appetizers that weren’t served at the summit unfortunately ended up in some mad scientist lab in Maryland where they were served up to each other cannibal style.  At least the cats finally got their Scooby snacks.

The horror.  And that's how you get Dr. Peter Venkman, President Trump, Kim Jong-un and Sabrett’s hotdogs all in one post.  And here is the disclaimer - most, but not all of this story is B.S.